I avoided photos. If a camera came out, I stepped away just in case. For just over 30 years, I never liked to be in or see photos of me. Life was not happy or fulfilling, so holding onto memories where I was in life, held no appeal. I lost about 85 pounds and liked how I looked better, but still hated photos.
(mild trigger warning, I mention the stab wounds in next paragraph)
Then life came crashing down. I was a human puddle of misery and despair for about two years after my only brother was gone and I had to heal from the stabbing and move on without him. I regained the 85 pounds with the lack of movement in recovery (two of the stabs went under the skin and came out the other side of my back), which felt like another impossible challenge. They also had to shave part of my head that terrible night to give me 12 staples for a big wound, so half my head had short hair sticking straight out the side no matter what I did for an annoyingly long period.
I started walking dogs to make some money again, when cannabis therapy made it possible to live without PTSD and bipolar dictating my life. It felt great to get back to the real world and I was losing weight and getting healthier. My partner (now fiance) who helped see me through even the darkest moments of recovery due to what my ex did, happens to be an amazing photographer. He has been wildly attracted to me since we met a lifetime ago at 20, no matter my size or shape. While I was visiting these beautiful homes to walk dogs, I used the mirrors in their big, fancy bathrooms and started snapping a quick selfie of my butt (the part of me I really liked) to send my partner. He LOVED them and it was fun to be silly and sexy and connect with him while I was out in the world, a challenge in itself. With his serious talent, I was doing my best to keep my photos for him fun and interesting.
I kept getting healthier, losing weight, and loving my body again. I started including my face in the private, sexy selfies. As the weeks went on, while my partner was still the only one seeing them, I got better and better at photos. Eventually, I found Sorelle Amore's "advanced selfie" YouTube videos, and that set me on a course I never could have imagined. My photos got better and more creative. I started sharing the 'safe' ones on my social media sometimes. I started taking fun selfies just to take fun selfies, because they make me feel good. Seeing that I can find my beauty and passion and have it come across in a photo, even on the hardest days, was an amazing therapeutic tool.
We started our foot fetish page for fun. I was taking better and better photos, and having fun with him snapping a few of me sometimes. We did a little hotel shoot on our vacation in September of last year, and that sealed the deal. Having such a good time with the person I trust most, and seeing myself through his eyes/ his camera, I was hooked. We launched our Heathen Soles pages last January and the attention and following we got was unexpected! I have had multiple women ask for advice and support, but I am just learning myself so do not have a great deal to offer, myself. In came 420Nurses!!!
I found out about 420Nurses through a friend of a friend. Looked into it more, had a million questions, then could not wait to join. I decided to start a chapter so I can offer even more support and help push the movement myself, and I could not be happier with a decision.
Now, my booty and I look and feel better than ever, and life feels so full of possibility and opportunity!
