Hello Hello all you beautiful souls! I hope all of your goals are being met and your 2020 ia the best its capable of being!
Soo I guess I should bring this story way back to the beginging.
In February I was dealing with some family issues and I wont even lie sometimes my temperr gets the best of me and I wind up saying or doing things I'll later regret. This time my regret was being so mad that I wasnt payinng attention and I stubbed my toe, the second toe right next to the big on on a thick beam that seperates my closets two sides. Image attached of the evil beam that did this to me.
So I stub my toe in a fit of my anger and barely even reacted to it at the time. I knew I'd hit it I knew there was some pain but I was mad so definatly didnt care & and didnt stop to take a look at it, So when I calmded down, now I could really feel it and I had assumed well I just must have hit it hard if its not better in a few days I'll go get it checked out, And I did because seven days later the pain was still there but was very unusual to me because usually when you break a toe there is signifiicant bruising, I had no brusing at all. One trip to Urgent Care and one X-Ray determines no breaks just a sprain. Dr. instructed me to take it easy stay off of it as much as I could but told me I would be fine in about a week. I followed all the given insructions. I mean this was in the middle to end of February there wasnt much I could do anyway because things were begining to close due to the CoVid 19 issue. About two weeks passed and the pain had gone away no more issues so I had assumed I was all better nothing left to worry about.
Boy was I wrong.....
March artives and I had returend to all of my usual activities. Walking the dog, cleaning the house, working out etc. One afternoon I specifially remeber getting in a little home work out because at ths point absolutely everything was clsoed besides grocery stores. So one youtube video later and I had completed a nice home work out that got my heart rate up, my cardio pushed and me sweating. Keep in mind this was a moderate in home light work out, so crunchses, jumping jacks, burpees so on and so forth nothing crazy is what I'm trying to explain. But that night I had swelling in my foot, no pain just swelling. Oddest thing....then it progresses day by day. First it was the swelling then came the Numbness and that got me alarmed rtight away. Because it was the oddest numb sensation direstly over the toe that had been "sprained" and radiating over into my big toe and the thrid toe. Days following the onset of the numbness I was signifigantly swollen and the pain began to set in. And this was a pain of all pains! An achy, shooting stabbing burning pain, Then I realize I cant walk.......
By I cant walk I mean, I could bear no weight on the side of my foot that holds the big toe, the second and third toe. When weight would be applied to that area it was immediate pain, but also the sensation of standin on something or like something was stuck in my sock except I didnt have any socks or shoes on, I best described this pain as walking on a softball that was covered in spikes of barbed wire. Also as if i was standing on my bone, This alarms me, so I reached out to my primary care Dr. She was closed due to the pandemic, I had to wait until April for her to be in the office. Two days before my appointment I couldnt take the pain anymore so I went to a nearby emergency room thinking the Urgent Care Dr. had to of missed something, something has to be broken because I had no other explination for the pain and swelling. Another X-Ray, another Dr. both say no breaks. So I took a copy of that X-Ray and I brought it to my primary car Dr. she reviews the X-Ray and says same thing NO BREAKS! Im frustrated now because if nothing is broken then why am I dealing with pain, swelling and numbness. She tells me I need to see a pediatrist because this is an issue with my foot they woulld be better able to help me, I request she gives me a pair of cruches to help me get around becasue I still could not walk. I lasted about two weeks on those cruches before I ditcheds them and developed this weird hop, wobble, walk thing that I did for the next 5 months.
Keep in mind all of this is happening in the middle of the pandemic lock down. So finding a pediatrist was not the issue, the pediatrist being open and taking patients was. So April finally comes around and I get an appointment to see the pediatrist but I cant get in to see him for the first time untl April 29th. So I wait, the day finally comes & I bring him all my X-Ray documents to speed up that process, he examines my foot and is perplexed because even he could not make sense of what was going on with my foot. He sends me for an MRI that took until June 2nd to get into, from insuirance needing to approve it to waiting for the backed up offce to have an opening, So very first week in June I got my MRI. A week after that I was back at the pediatrist to get results. I thought this was the final leg and I was going to get some answers and move onto a treatment plan. Boy was I wrong again....
MRI gave the pediatrist I was seeing no answers he coudldnt see a single thing wrong and he suggests I'm having an issue with my nerves so he tells me I need to see nurologist for a nerve test. Thankfully I knew a great one whom I take my mother to so I immediatly contact him and get there soonest appointment. I got an appointment for June 18th This appointment is just for the consult becauase my insirance wont allow them to to the consult and thetest in the same day....so DUMB! Obviously the consult confrims I need a nerve test because the two X-Rays and one MRI had given no one any answers. So a week later I'm back with the nurologist for the nerve test and that was painful. It was an electronic test that sent zapps of electric current into my legs and feet so they could monitor the nerves reactions to this current. A week after that so now last week oe two in June I get results and they state that there is nothing at all wrong with my nerves. So now I am furious because still no one has been able to help me. So I contact my primary care Dr. with some serious rage and she tells me theres nothing she can do for me I have to follow back up with the pediatrist. So I do, infact I left him a very agressive quite rude definatly nasty voicemail demanding help. I got a call back the same day and he tells me he specalizes in bone fractures of the foot, hes not skilled or experienced enough to help me but he understands my frustration. He provides me with two telephone numbers to fellow pediatrist who he feels would be better suited to help me, I call both one answers one does not.
So on July 8th I finally have my appointment to meet with the 6th Dr. and I was honestly so fed up I didnt think he was going to be able to help me but I know I was scared. Scared because no one else had been able to help and I didnt want to go through that again and I was scared because I just knew whatever was wrong was pretty serious or why else would I be dealing with all these symptoms still 5 months later. Appointment goes well minus the pain he caused me poking around and pulling on my foot, but within minutes utter minutes he was able to tell me what was wrong, what needed to be done and explaained everything to me even used a fake foot to show me and describe to me what was wrong.
I had torn my Plantar Plate, this meant surgery, Hearing I needed surgery was the worst possible thing for my anxiety but it was the reality of my siuatuon. I couldtnt deny it even tho I definatly tried to find justificatins to how I was fine and how I didnt need the opperation and how the Dr. had to be wrong...well he wasnt. He showed me on my MRI where the tear was that matched every google seatrch I did in attempt to not be cut open . July 17th was my surgery day and on that day I was more nervous then I've ever been about anytthing in my whole life. I was terrified, afraid to be botched, afraid I'd never walk again, afraid of the scar, afraid I'd wake up in the middle of the opperation and not be able to move or speak but be awake. All the things that coudl scare me did and I was 100% open with the entire hospitasl staff that I was scared I told my Dr. the anesthesiologist I told Everyone. The anesthesiologist assured me he would give me a calmbing medication before he put me to sleep to calm me down the Dr. poked at my foot made me scream verified with 3 witnesses myself included that he was preparing to opperate on the second toe on my left fooot I signed confirmng he was dealling with the correct foot and then I was rolled off to the OR.
As they rolled me clsoer I felt it. The suffocating panic of a panic attack, my breathing got deep and fast, tears began to fall down my face and I was fidgetting with the wires and stuiff that was on my lap, I couldnt sit still and was in a completee panic honestly looking for a way to run well hop away. The surgual team immediatly notice my fear and begin making jokes to make me laugh while I was being transfered to the OR table and the anestheiologist comes over tells me hes gonna give me that medicine to relax and that it will work very quickly and thats the last thing I remember, Next thing I know I'm waking up to agonizing pain and theres a lady named Julie sitting next to me monitoring me, I passed back out woke up and so on till I was awake enough to drink some water talk to the nursed and sign my final papers and be sent home.
Its now been 6 days since surgery and the pain has been real so real that I've taken pills I HATE! I hate narcotics and usually dont even fill the scripts. But I guess I've needed them I tried I really really did thef first two days were easy to use cannabis for the pain bc I had been given a nerve blocker essentally making my foot and ankle completely numb. As that wore off and the pain crept in I attempted motrin 800, C-B-D, and THC and by the 3rd night I was in tears from the pain like hysterics and caved and took a pill. I only will take them at night after I've been battling the pain all day and cant take it anymore. Yesterday was my first post opp check up. They took the dressing off and it took every oz of positive mind power I have not to cry. The wound obiously doenst look pretty and I've dreaded th scar since the begining but I can walk!!!! Yesterday was the first time I was able to bear any weight on it and, I have all 5 toes and I can wiggle them a painful wiggle but I can feel evrerything and its not exacly fun but its great the more I see I wasnt bothced. Dr. Ira Weiner did a good job and so far I'm thankfull to him. Now I just hope my recovery is quick and well no complicatons.
Bye bye to enjoying summer 2020 but hello fixed foot.
Attached images may be graphic please if you have a weak stomach avoid them,
