by on September 9, 2020

Okay I will try to make this as short as possible, when I first joined the 420nurse family it was to help me get my confidence back up and to help me meet and interact with new people who will truly care about me. I'll start with I was in a 5 year fucked up relationship.. the very beginning he accused me.of so many things that I could never even think of doing to anyone else, and if you know me then you know I am literally so sweet and it legit hurts me to be mean to other people, anyways I let him walk all over me and control me and I was so nice and gave my all while losing myself, but I didn't even notice I lost myself because I was too wrapped up into making him happy and walking on eggshells around him, I literally lost family and most of my friends because of the way he treated me and he wanted to hide me away from the world when I wanted to grow with him and experience the world not hide from it.. anyways we ended up having a baby boy and I thought that would make things better but they got worse, he was always mad, never wanted to go out and do anything with me, I literally had to ASK him to take me on dates and a lot of the things I said he would sigh about and just be angry, and here my dumbass is still trying to do anything i can for him not even worrying about myself and the saddest thing is I realized I even put him before my.kid sometimes... i got pregnant again and things kept getting worse but every time I tried to leave he would tell me I didn't love or care about him or our family so I tried to stay and make us a happy family.. anyways my 2nd baby is 5 months old now and I did leave him a few months ago.. it got so bad that I finally left. I realized how embarrassing and fucked up our relationship was, the day I left he told me to walk to the ER when I asked him to drive me because I was having such a bad panic attack and I couldn't breathe.. made me feel literally stupid for needing meds because I don't even want to wake up some days.. a few days after I left him he took me anx our youngest baby so at the time Oli was only 3 months old, anyways he took us to an appointment and then back to my sistsrs and i got a video of him almost crashing the car with us in it saying its no big deal and he wants to crash us all... also if you know me you know that my baby boys are my ENTIRE world and the way he treats them and the way he treats me in front of them is so sad and I am figuring out how to deal with it a little bit better day by day. I feel like i lost my whole life and that my whole life was just a joke.. i am loving with my sister in 1 room with 2 babies and all of our things, but i started my new job this week and am going to look for houses soon 

P.S. I have been hanging out with a new guy recently who is amazinnggg with my kids and he literally is the sweeteat thing ever and it is weord to me to be treated so well so I'm not sure what to do or how to deal with life but I am getting there. Sorry for the rant but I am back babies and I love all you gorgeous bitches 😍😍😍😍