Where I'm at

I'm in a special place right now in my life. I will be moving to Cal State LA second week of August. It's very exciting, but also nerve wracking! I'm sad to be leaving my hometown and some people in it. I'm going to miss where I work the most, the people there are just absolutely amazing. My coworkers are what keeps me going right now. I hate to leave them, but I have to do what's in my best interest, and that's moving on to CSULA. I didn't have many friends in Santa Clarita until I got this job. I lost most of my high school friends and long time best friends over stupid shit so they were like my saviors as well as the 420 Nurses. I'm happy to say now I'll have friends to come home to, if I ever come back. My entire family is moving out of SCV, so idk if I will. Maybe to visit for a day. My sister will be moving to Arizona for school, she's attending Northern Arizona University and I'm so proud of her! My brother is doing something intense, that will be a big change for all of us. He's joining the marines, and he goes off to boot camp in September after he turns 18. It'll be scary, but I support him in his decision. I can't wait to see his progress in December after boot camp training. It changes you in some ways. I went to a couple Marine boot camp graduations for friends and they went through hell. They told me stories about the drill sergeants or whatever they're called and how mean they can be. The hikes are the worst part apparently and I don't doubt it. They have to go through so much shit and vigorous training for over 2 months to see if they can handle becoming a marine. My brother is super fit, so he more than likely will be okay in that department. Mentally, let's hope he will be alright LOL. So anyway, my mom is unemployed and has been for a few years. My very sweet aunt has been taking care of her and us for awhile. She pays for this apartment and doesn't even live here anymore. She moved up to Salinas for a job that pays more so that she can continue to help my mom, us, and our mama (her mom, my grandma). My whole family doesn't do too well in the financial department. So I'm going to try my best, for the rest of this life, to help my family and become successful so I'm no longer living a life full of struggle. Of course there's going to be struggle no matter what, but being financially stable could help tremendously. There's so much pain in not having enough money. You just get stuck somewhere and can't live your life. My mom is going to be moving in with her parents at the end of August with my brother, but he will only be there for a couple weeks. They live in North Hollywood so it's not far at all from CSULA. I'm not sure how long my mom will be living there. For now, it is indefinitely. But also, now; my mom, grandparents, uncle, aunts, cousins and nephew will all be in one place. So one visit means seeing all of them and that's pretty cool. I just hope that one day my mom gets back on her feet. My dad really fucked her up and I hate that.

Fuck. This blog was supposed to be about me, lol. Moving away from my family will be a HUGE adjustment. I'm ready to take on the new challenges that life throws at me (after a fat nap). I'm ready for school, new friends, new experiences, and new beginnings. I hope that the rest of this year goes well. I'm a very anxious person so that takes over the excitement. Weed really fucking helps with that lmao. I just need a fat dab, and I'll be okay. Also my coworkers are sleeping downstairs and it's giving me anxiety because I have to eat and I can barely eat in front of my mom because of personal issues so I'm just fucking starving. This also doesn't help my eating disorder. This just feeds it. This is a huge issue I want to get over, but that is for a whole nother blog.

I hope everyone has a fabulous day today. Keep smiling. Keep your head up. And take a fat ass dab. You are beautiful.



Peace and chicken grease,

CannaQueen