on July 22, 2015
I am stressing going back to my hometown like a big fat baby.... It's for my Grandfather's 80th Birthday on the 25th. BUT I have to come clean with a few things after his party that I'm just DREADING. I'm not good at verbal emotional things.
I'm a very personal person when it comes to my health. I do things low key, on my own. Stubbornly and frustratingly so to those around me, I'm quite good at this. Kind of a master if you will. Living here in WA State the last three years has allowed me to do so with such ease. I come from a VERY large familia that was extremely close, some of us have drifted after the passing of My Grandma in 97 she was taken to soon by Leukemia. My aunts continued to raise us (cousins) all in the house they were raised in and throughout the years some of us have moved out and away and far way, but still maintain that same bond. My Tia's, they worry, it's whom I get it from and MY Gama the master of worrying. in 2000 I gave birth to my first son and all five of my Tia's were diagnosed with different types and stages of cystic/precancerous/tumors on their ovaries. To say cancer has taken the majority of the people I love would be an understatement. I have had to battle it before with chemo almost killing me.. When I was told that my cancer returned I made the decision to go with a method I hadn't tried, CANNABIS! I also decided not to worry anyone back home aside from my Daddy and Momma Candi. SO I went about telling them, having their support and the support of the friends/family I have been so amazingly blessed with since I've been up here I went forth keeping it a secret. There have been many other roadblocks that just happened to of occurred during this time (work/relationship/home/ almost homeless with 3 kids stuff) that so easily helped me account for the sick and drastic change my body took (stress kills). I have been able to keep this from all but one of my four Tia's Doreen.. she used my grandma on me, dirty tactics <3 She living in Oklahoma and dealing with a teenage daughter who drastically reduced her weight from stress and depression gave me her word not to tell a soul! -i bet she told my uncle though-. I made the choice to call myself out publicly for allowing myself to get so underweight due to my stress and depression, hoping it would help my little prima whom I felt huge guilt over for never being around. I became a mother when she was only two, I was never the prima to her I would of loved to of been and had been for the ones before her. Still all the while keeping the cancer a secret..with 3 months to go I told myself I would come clean to my brother as soon as the time was right. I haven't, even today PHYSICALLY freezing when his text asked "you're not driving, everything okay". Master deflector I am, reminded him I had records and mixers by not even typing but just sending a picture. He being the one person who was with me most of my life (aside now from my kids) knows me, and knows something is up, but him being him, will show up wherever I land before I'm even unpacked! He always text's when I need it the most, without a peep from me anywhere. I'm gonna haveta tell him... and then my four Tias, but one of them I plan to pull aside. My youngest Tia was 14 when I was born, I was given her middle name and she gave me her love of scifi, horror, anime, my heavy sarcasm and sick sense of humor from. Tia Tofu has always been the bee's knees to me, they all were! They raised me when my own birth mother left me at a few month, they are BAMFs. But she turns out is almost a perfect match for me for a bone marrow transplant and white blood cell transfusions. How did my doctors find out I.. She has been donating both Marrow (every 5 years) and blood and plasma every chance she's had since my grandmas passing in honor of her. I get to ask her to this year let me be the recipient of it, possibly by coming up here to Seattle and doing it. Then I'll tell the other Tia's and everyone in town will know by sun up.. I'm an emotional wreck, full of happiness to see everyone, anxiety over the questions/criticism I may get about my choice of care from those I love most. When I return from my trip I have so much to do and look forward to. Working after 3+ months off, My lil transplant/transfusions, and getting my health, body and energy caught up and to match the energy I have in my head to get out there and do things, to raise my sons, support those I love, to raise awareness for Cannabis and Ovarian Cancer and the good it can do vs what we have been told.
There has been a fire lit under this latinas butt and I'm rising from the ashes <3
Excited for things to come!
Thankful as ever for my 420Nurses familys support.
YOU
GUYS
BETTER
KNOW
WHO
YOU
ARE
COS I FUCKING LOVE YOU!
Thank you for always being here...
xxx PRM
I'm a very personal person when it comes to my health. I do things low key, on my own. Stubbornly and frustratingly so to those around me, I'm quite good at this. Kind of a master if you will. Living here in WA State the last three years has allowed me to do so with such ease. I come from a VERY large familia that was extremely close, some of us have drifted after the passing of My Grandma in 97 she was taken to soon by Leukemia. My aunts continued to raise us (cousins) all in the house they were raised in and throughout the years some of us have moved out and away and far way, but still maintain that same bond. My Tia's, they worry, it's whom I get it from and MY Gama the master of worrying. in 2000 I gave birth to my first son and all five of my Tia's were diagnosed with different types and stages of cystic/precancerous/tumors on their ovaries. To say cancer has taken the majority of the people I love would be an understatement. I have had to battle it before with chemo almost killing me.. When I was told that my cancer returned I made the decision to go with a method I hadn't tried, CANNABIS! I also decided not to worry anyone back home aside from my Daddy and Momma Candi. SO I went about telling them, having their support and the support of the friends/family I have been so amazingly blessed with since I've been up here I went forth keeping it a secret. There have been many other roadblocks that just happened to of occurred during this time (work/relationship/home/ almost homeless with 3 kids stuff) that so easily helped me account for the sick and drastic change my body took (stress kills). I have been able to keep this from all but one of my four Tia's Doreen.. she used my grandma on me, dirty tactics <3 She living in Oklahoma and dealing with a teenage daughter who drastically reduced her weight from stress and depression gave me her word not to tell a soul! -i bet she told my uncle though-. I made the choice to call myself out publicly for allowing myself to get so underweight due to my stress and depression, hoping it would help my little prima whom I felt huge guilt over for never being around. I became a mother when she was only two, I was never the prima to her I would of loved to of been and had been for the ones before her. Still all the while keeping the cancer a secret..with 3 months to go I told myself I would come clean to my brother as soon as the time was right. I haven't, even today PHYSICALLY freezing when his text asked "you're not driving, everything okay". Master deflector I am, reminded him I had records and mixers by not even typing but just sending a picture. He being the one person who was with me most of my life (aside now from my kids) knows me, and knows something is up, but him being him, will show up wherever I land before I'm even unpacked! He always text's when I need it the most, without a peep from me anywhere. I'm gonna haveta tell him... and then my four Tias, but one of them I plan to pull aside. My youngest Tia was 14 when I was born, I was given her middle name and she gave me her love of scifi, horror, anime, my heavy sarcasm and sick sense of humor from. Tia Tofu has always been the bee's knees to me, they all were! They raised me when my own birth mother left me at a few month, they are BAMFs. But she turns out is almost a perfect match for me for a bone marrow transplant and white blood cell transfusions. How did my doctors find out I.. She has been donating both Marrow (every 5 years) and blood and plasma every chance she's had since my grandmas passing in honor of her. I get to ask her to this year let me be the recipient of it, possibly by coming up here to Seattle and doing it. Then I'll tell the other Tia's and everyone in town will know by sun up.. I'm an emotional wreck, full of happiness to see everyone, anxiety over the questions/criticism I may get about my choice of care from those I love most. When I return from my trip I have so much to do and look forward to. Working after 3+ months off, My lil transplant/transfusions, and getting my health, body and energy caught up and to match the energy I have in my head to get out there and do things, to raise my sons, support those I love, to raise awareness for Cannabis and Ovarian Cancer and the good it can do vs what we have been told.
There has been a fire lit under this latinas butt and I'm rising from the ashes <3
Excited for things to come!
Thankful as ever for my 420Nurses familys support.
YOU
GUYS
BETTER
KNOW
WHO
YOU
ARE
COS I FUCKING LOVE YOU!
Thank you for always being here...
xxx PRM
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