When it comes to family, there's no cookie-cutter; not everyone will be the same. Every family is different, and what may be "normal" for one family won't be the same for another. Within our families, we all have our "roles," whether you are the organized one, best dressed, always late, or the pothead, somehow we all come together to form a unit. Usually, when we are younger, it's easier for us to tolerate each other. As we get older and our personalities and lives take us further away, it becomes more challenging. As we get older, we learn more about the world; we discover all the evil that surrounds us, that we were too naïve to see as children. We realize that not everyone shares the same opinions as us, and something you consider wrong may be right in their eyes. But what happens if these differences are morally wrong, that your loved ones' actions are causing destruction or harm? Are we able to turn a blind eye? Are we able to act like the differences we see are minor, as if we were trying to decide what restaurant to eat at?
Over the years, I've heard people use the quote "Blood is thicker than water" I guess scientifically this is true, but how can this relate to us? People try to use this quote to justify family abuse and trauma, but this could be incredibly harmful to us; the worst thing you could do is use this saying to justify the toxic relationship between you and your family. Often, we will put on a smile and be "fake" to each other for the sake of not arguing or fighting, but is it worth it when the other people are either ignorant, selfish, or both. Why should we have to walk on eggshells to keep the peace? I don't know about you, but I would prefer to stay to myself at that point. Some people (myself included) find it very hard to be "fake," it just never made sense to me that I would have to water myself down to fit someone else's perception of me.
For a long time, I made other people's problems my own, and there have been times I neglected my responsibilities to help my family, and it went unappreciated. After a certain amount of time and after so many instances of feeling hurt or let down, you learn your lesson; you learn not to overextend yourself to them anymore. When you have a good heart, though, the guilt always gets the best of you, but then I remember how I felt when I was letting people agitate my life, all that brought me was stress and anxiety.
Will I always love my family? Of course! I could love from a distance; I could pray for them from here. I love myself more, though, and I know focusing on my mental health and goals are more important than trying to make other people happy. From now on, I will be protecting my energy.
