Katie Jade Durham
by on January 27, 2020
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Hello and welcome to my first blog! My name is Katie Jade and I am thrilled to be sharing a bit of myself with all of you today. At this time I would like to start out by saying this is probably going to be a bit of a bumpy ride. I have never wrote out a blog before and I don't share my ideas often but here we go. 

I have enjoyed making clothing and designing clothing since I was 16 but never thought of being a model during my designing years. During high school I took two fashion courses and loved them, I fell head over heels in love with the idea of it all. Designing, making clothing, sewing, the history of fashion and so on. I thought I had discovered my niche. But after high school the only fashion programs where London or farther and I couldn't be two hours away from my family or everything I had built so far. Sometimes I wish I wouldn't of held myself back but that is a topic for a future blog. 

So I went to college and took aesthetics. I learned a lot and I enjoyed meeting new people but it was not what I wanted. I sadly didn't finish the course. After that I kind of broke down, I didn't know what to do with myself so I worked. Normally in factory jobs because that is what is available in my city. I grew unhappy and had no passion. I am a person who deals with depression on a regular basis and with no joy in life it only got worse. So I would spend lots of time couped up not doing much and it made me almost suicidal. Well my best friend was not having it. She was into photography back in the day and she insisted we did a photo shoot, it might make me feel better. She knew I had a love for fashion still but it never got put to use other than occasional cute selfies. We had played with photography before but only for her photography classes in high school. This time it was just for fun just like back then. In the end I did like the pictures and appreciated the pick me up. What are best friends for if not to help you in your times of need.

So I posted my photos on Facebook and I had people tell me they liked them and I had positive feedback on my photos. It was great to feel the sense of support towards something I enjoyed doing. From there I had one of the most important people I know in my current modeling career contact me. He has become a good friend and a great artist to know. Doug Vance had reached out to me and stated he liked my look. He wanted to meet up for a drink to see if we got along and if I would be interested in modeling one of his designs. He shared his current work with me and his style seemed right up my alley. At the time my boyfriend (now husband) didn't want me to go and meet him. He was working and couldn't be there to keep me safe so he didn't like it. But I saw opportunity and I really didn't want to turn it down. So I agreed to meet for a drink with Doug. We meet not to far from where I lived at the time. I remember being so damn nervous, my anxiety was going crazy. I knew that my boyfriend wouldn't like it but I threw my caution to the wind. It turned out to be one of the best choices I ever made.

I learned a lesson that day but the lesson didn't click till years later. Again that is another story for another blog. So to sum it up, I decided that I liked Doug and his ideas. I went ahead and I did my first photo shoot for his Freekware designs. I got to keep the shirt I wore for the shoot and I got amazing photos back from Ray Akey. He turned out to be a wonderful photographer who I still enjoy working with to this day. After that shoot I was contacted every once in a while to do a shoot here or there. I enjoyed doing the shoots as I had a decent amount of clothing that I love thanks to my on going love of fashion. I never dropped the interest in fashion and I am so glad I didn't because after working with Doug and Ray I got inspiration to start to design and make clothing again. It was like a creative flood gate opened. I missed that feeling, the need to do something creative. So I started to make some odds and ends. I started to do more shoots. At some point I wanted to do more so I looked into agencies. I found one I like and started to pursue the path of being in an agency only for life to have different plans for me.

I ended up learning I was pregnant after I had done my first shoot to get my comp cards done. I went to go grab my cards and tell them, at that time they basically let me go. I felt pretty used at that time. They promised that when I wanted to get back into the scene that all I had to do was to contact them and we will pick up where we left off. That never happened. They wanted a whole new booking fee and other set of fees when I called them back after my pregnancy. Overall I dislike the company and will not disclose who they are but I would never recomend them either.

After the let down I still continued to model and design when I could but it is hard to do when you have a baby and you are trying to work 40 plus hours a week. So my modeling and creative side had to take a bit of a break. I never completely stopped but I didn't put myself into it like I wanted to. I went on to participate in Canadas next top model and also to try to be a part of another agency. Both left me disappointed and hurt. I didn't feel like I fit into the role of model anymore. What I really needed to learn at the time was where I fit in. Then I realized, I don't fit in. I need to embrace it and accept it. After that I was set and have been since.

I am learning to love my whole self and the things I love even if it makes me weird and different.It doesn't matter what other people think as long as I am happy. At this time my modeling makes me very happy, designing gives me a sense of purpose and the journey of becoming the best version of myself is turning into a wonderful surprise. If you would of told me five years ago I would be here doing what I am doing I would of laughed. 

In this journey I have suffered through depression and anxiety on a regular basis, it was hard at times but I can tell you through it all I enjoyed using weed as a way to coup with both. I always found it helped when I was to overwhelmed to eat or when I couldn't sleep because my brain wouldn't shut up. It has helped with pain and it has allowed me to function like a normal person on days where I know I couldn't of without it. My journey of growth and self love has been an interesting one and it wouldn't be the same without weed. 

I want to promote what I love, use my modeling and previous sales skills to promote and grow an empire. I know who I am, what I want and what I would like to see in my future. I am proud of how far I have come, how much more I understand myself and to have goals that seem reasonable. I am a proud mother, wife, model, designer and overall pot head. Thank you for your time and I can't wait to share more stories. 

Photos attached are from my first shoot and then one of my most recent shoots, what a difference ♡ 

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