Another day, another dollar.

I had a really bad day at work. I just sobbed for a little because I'm weak. But crying doesn't make you weak, excuse me. It shows your strength honestly. If you keep that shit in, you gonna feel so much worse. Humans need to talk things out. That's how we heal and move on. OKAY anyway. I am super sad that I can't be with my other 420 nurses right now. They all make me feel so much more alive and well. I feel like I can be myself around them and really blossom. So it was the LA Chapter meeting earlier today and I'm really bummed I couldn't make it down. I live 45 minutes away and I had work until 7pm. As some of you know, I don't have my own car anymore. I haven't had one for awhile now, maybe a year. But I've been in this position before so it is all too familiar. I didn't think I would've spent this much money on cars (shitty shitty cars) at the age of 22. It's just a mixture of some bad luck, ignorance, and pressure from my parents who are not car experts. Let me tell you, having your own car makes everything easier. Not everything, but it helps tremendously. It's difficult to plan things AND follow through with them. Because you don't know your own situation. And when you don't know that, it's hard to accommodate for other people. Also public transportation is unreliable, annoying, and kinda gross sometimes! I share a car with 4 other people, occasionally even more than that because family comes in and out of my home. It's a struggle but I'm just happy we have at least one car and somewhere to live. My mom doesn't have a job and I work as a waitress so I don't really make enough money, unfortunately. So it's just tougher for me to make it down to Canoga Park to hang with my friends. Which really sucks because I have more friends in Canoga than I do here in Santa Clarita. I try my best to come every Friday Night Sesh since that is the biggest event we have and I get to see an abundance of friends in one night. But I would love to be able to see them more often. Honestly, one night a week ain't enough! And at Friday Night Sesh, it's very very crowded and not easy to really hang out which is why the Stoner Cafe exists.

I'm moving to LA, Cal State LA, to be more specific. I'll be starting classes there mid-August. I was excited because I thought I'd be a little closer BUT NOW IM JUST GONNA BE 45 MINUTES THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION. So finding that out was pretty frustrating, but it's life! I would love to spend everyday with these girls, learning from them and growing with them. It looks like Fridays will still be the only days I'll be able to attend for now, but hopefully in the future that might change. In the meantime, I am planning on being more active online. It's really hard for me to do that because I get distant, busy, and definitely distracted. Also lazy because work is draining and no fun. But I am going to try my best!!! I want to be super active on Instagram, I want to post more, I want to talk more with you guys, and of course post more blogs on here. I love blogging, I just fucking suck at it. My writing has always been all over the place because that's how my mind works. I'm crazy and you're gonna have to love me crazy. I LOVE YOU ALL (all 2 of you who are reading this)

Sincerely,

CannaQueen