on February 6, 2015
I am attempting to battle my inner demons, at least that is what I am calling them. The only people who will understand what I mean by this is someone who has gone through the worst of the worst ALONE! but not by choice. Also, meaning that the people close to you, who you spend more than 50% of your time with don't even know these things about you. You have been able to wear this mask and you wear it well.
Therefore you are use to keeping things to yourself, buried deep down. Life have a way of making you face these things. Even when you are not ready too. So how do you face them? Do you spill your guts, and hope the person you are talking to don't one day use the information as a weapon against you or just tell everybody?
How do you decide who is the right person to share these things with? Do you just go to therapy? I have a therapist but I still haven't told her everything. Maybe 1% is what I have shared with my therapist.
We all have our own ways of dealing with things both good and bad. I hear people say let it out, face it, admit it...etc in order to deal with it and move on. I have no idea how to do that? I've done that once like 14 years ago, and yep the person used it as a weapon against me. This person was immediately cut off! After the fact, and older person said it was all my fault, that I had no business giving this person that kind of power over me. This is coming from that older generation where people actually kept secrets and took things to their grave.
I feel like each day I am being tested and faced with things that is making me deal with my past. Am I ready? Yes and NO! Are the people around me now, the right people to share this information with? I don't fucking know!!!
I totally went M.I.A. a few years ago and cut off all communication with pretty much everyone I know. Now I'm trying not to do that again, at least for my daughter because it affected her and caused problems(another blog topic). I am at shut down mode right now. I know nothing will be accomplished on shut down mode,but I can't help it.
This may make sense to some and it may not, either way Thanks for reading.
#OneLove #VirgoKush #420Nurses #EyezTyte
Therefore you are use to keeping things to yourself, buried deep down. Life have a way of making you face these things. Even when you are not ready too. So how do you face them? Do you spill your guts, and hope the person you are talking to don't one day use the information as a weapon against you or just tell everybody?
How do you decide who is the right person to share these things with? Do you just go to therapy? I have a therapist but I still haven't told her everything. Maybe 1% is what I have shared with my therapist.
We all have our own ways of dealing with things both good and bad. I hear people say let it out, face it, admit it...etc in order to deal with it and move on. I have no idea how to do that? I've done that once like 14 years ago, and yep the person used it as a weapon against me. This person was immediately cut off! After the fact, and older person said it was all my fault, that I had no business giving this person that kind of power over me. This is coming from that older generation where people actually kept secrets and took things to their grave.
I feel like each day I am being tested and faced with things that is making me deal with my past. Am I ready? Yes and NO! Are the people around me now, the right people to share this information with? I don't fucking know!!!
I totally went M.I.A. a few years ago and cut off all communication with pretty much everyone I know. Now I'm trying not to do that again, at least for my daughter because it affected her and caused problems(another blog topic). I am at shut down mode right now. I know nothing will be accomplished on shut down mode,but I can't help it.
This may make sense to some and it may not, either way Thanks for reading.
#OneLove #VirgoKush #420Nurses #EyezTyte
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[x=64406]KronicLady[/x] and Lance... thanks to both of you for your comments.
Anytime I hope you conquer your demons and make them your bitch:p lmao
Thanks for opening up. It can be hard to share yourself with others when you wear a mask constantly. I really hope things go well for you and know you have a home with the 420Nurses where opening up won't be used against you. Glad to know you <img src="http://420nurses.com/file/pic/emoticon/default... View More
[x=18065]Abbysis[/x] I hope to share more. So many changes and things going on over the last couple of months. So I am writing more
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