Reminiscing

This is a poem when I very first started blazing up, at the time, I lived in Reno. My life was pretty miserable there, and I was dealing with some extreme relationship troubles, as well as battling the life-threatening sickness that cannabis saved me from. So this poem is really about the solace I could find in blazing in the dark, when I felt like I was dying emotionally, physically and felt a little lost. So here it is... This is my original work please respect that. Thanks



I left my shell behind me
I let you see my tear bruised soul
I saw the sun again for real
Then the storm came
I’ve stood my ground against so much
I’ve stood naked and alone in the face of the Dark
I’ve fought and clawed my way out of the pit and when I got to the top
I was different
I was true, and I was me
But I was empty
Tainted, and oh so
Alone

Now it’s easy to feel
The throat numbing sensation
Oooh Baby, let me just tell you
It’s like being loved by the worst and the best at the same time
First, burning, oh man, you know how it hurts
Hold it, hold it, hold it!
EXHALE!
Then it hits the back of your skull, so fiery hot and numbing
Everything forgotten
But shit, now it’s just fun

Then the fun wears thin
Now its’ all quiet
Only you can hear your thoughts running through your skull
One by one they slam together
Faster, Harder, Stronger, not Better
Now that sinking feeling, that warm dark spot in your mind is calling
The emotions so vivid, so bright, so painful with every twist of your thoughts
I feel them
The thoughts
The fears
The emotions
The insecurities
I feel them wrapped around my head
Holding me when no one else will

Then comes the comforting hand of the end
Covering you and taking you into the dream
The black blanket of finality
And now its empty
No thoughts
No dreams
No nothing
So pure

I’ve purged my feelings
Letting them in
Close enough to finally feel them again
And then sleep them away
Tomorrow the sun will shine brighter
Maybe you’ll look at me different
Maybe you’ll love me
Until then it’s just me and the dark
And a lighter and spark illuminating the room
My soul
My mind
My heart